The old say: ‘You should count your friends on one hand’ turned out to be a very wise teaching.
Unfortunately in a society where ‘more’ seems to be the only value to measure one popularity or success, it is hard to remember why it's so important.
Growing up I myself only cared about how many people showed up at my parties as opposed to who and my Facebook list of friends went on for pages.
It wasn't until I found myself expecting my first child that I realized there were only few people I truly wanted to share my happy news with.
Many of the others I knew weren't friends at all but just bunch or energy vampires, users and jealous individuals.
By ‘energy vampires’ I mean those people we all seem to have in our lives that feed on our good spirit, good mood and energy. They tend to leave you feeling drained, heavy and depressed each time you spend time with them.
Their addiction to drama is usually very strong and most likely, without even realizing it, they try to make you part of that drama too.
At first we all feel compelled to help them deal with their misery, that is good human nature after all. Unfortunately though, experience has thought me that unless they are willing to be helped, all your effort to rescue them will only go to waste and you will just end up frustrated and disappointed.
Just like with any addiction, you can’t force someone on the path to recovery.
These people need to want to feel better and must be fully committed to make life choices that reflect that intention. Until then, unfortunately, they tend to drain everyone else around so watch out.
As far as the 'users' go, well, not much to say really, we all know them. They befriend you because it's convenient to them and then leave you if you no longer serve a purpose. These so called 'friends' tend to come and go at all times and make zero positive contribution to your life.
And finally, in the list of people to look out for, there are those that cannot help but feeling jealous and envious of your happiness, success or look.
They might not even be conscious of their behavior or thoughts but the result is the same: their negative feelings towards you work like poison.
It is not a coincidence that since the beginning of time the ‘evil eye’ concept has been shared by different cultures all over the world. It may have being called with different names, but its core concept remains the same: people’s jealousy, envious feelings and thoughts, even if only at a subconscious level, have a strong negative effect on the receiving party.
While I don’t believe that people intentions are evil (well sometimes they are), I know how insecurity can lead the best of us to irrational thoughts.
Some people show it more than others but in a society where we are required to always be polite and smiling to one other it’s hard to tell if a person is being genuine or not.
The key is to pay close attention to the people you surround yourself with and their true intentions.
Do they really care for you or is it just a convenient friendship/relationship?
How do you feel after you spent time with these individuals?
Have you ever walked into a room and got a chill for no reason?
Learn to trust your instinct and surround yourself with like minded people who’s effort is to better themselves. Real people that genuinely share your happiness and success. Friends who inspire you.
Do I have many friends? No, definitely not, but those few I have I consider precious souls one can only feel privileged to know. Caring loving friends I can count on.
Quality v quantity: always!
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