"All the greatest and most important problems of life are fundamentally insoluble…They can never be solved, but only outgrown." – Carl Jung
At pivotal moments in life, we often find ourselves caught in internal conflicts that demand our attention. Whether it’s deciding on a career change, navigating relationships, relocating, or caring for loved ones, such dilemmas can leave us feeling polarized—torn between opposing options without a clear path forward.
The resulting tension is uncomfortable, and the impulse to resolve it quickly can feel overwhelming.
What we may not realize, however, is that this very tension holds creative potential.
Carl Jung referred to it as the "tension of opposites," an essential dynamic for growth and transformation. Instead of rushing to pick a side, staying with the discomfort allows for the emergence of a third way—an unexpected solution, insight, or perspective that transcends the original conflict. This new possibility doesn’t merely resolve the dilemma but expands our understanding of ourselves and our situation.
When we resist the urge to prematurely resolve our inner conflicts, we create space for something new to arise. This third option could take the form of an idea, a feeling, or a reimagined way of engaging with our circumstances. It’s less about choosing between opposing sides and more about embracing the complexity of the situation.
On a larger scale, this principle applies to the broader challenges facing society. The uncertainty of our times often leads to polarized thinking—whether in politics, religion, or personal beliefs. Faced with uncertainty, people tend to cling to rigid, black-and-white solutions. Yet genuine transformation demands we linger in the "grey areas" long enough for creative resolutions to emerge.
The discomfort of tension can make us eager to resolve conflicts quickly. However, this haste often leads to superficial solutions, leaving the core issue unresolved. Such unresolved dynamics may resurface later in life, appearing in new forms or at deeper levels.
Growing up, many of us were taught to resolve problems by choosing sides, a strategy rooted in the binary thinking of right versus wrong. As adults, this approach often falls short when we face complex, multifaceted dilemmas. True growth requires us to allow these tensions to intensify and evolve until an unforeseen resolution emerges.
A key part of holding the tension of opposites is releasing the need for total resolution.
This "all or nothing" mindset itself can be a form of polarization. Sometimes, partial resolutions or incremental steps pave the way for deeper clarity.
Underlying much of our discomfort with tension is a fear of the unknown. Yet to discover transformative solutions, we must loosen our attachment to preconceived outcomes and open ourselves to surprise. It’s in this willingness to sit with uncertainty that new possibilities arise.
Ultimately, opposites are not as irreconcilable as they seem. They are part of the same whole—up and down, light and dark, joy and sorrow. As we learn to hold both sides in our awareness, we move beyond the need to choose and instead arrive at a place of integration.
By leaning into these tensions, we not only solve our dilemmas but also expand our understanding of ourselves and the world.
This process brings a renewed sense of unity, energy, and courage, reminding us that we are part of something far greater than ourselves. Transformation often arrives not as we expect, but as a surprise—a gift born from the very tensions we once sought to escape.
Deeply insightful.