The Masks We Wear: A Journey Back to Authenticity
It's been a while since this blog has seen the light of day – four years, to be exact.
This silence mirrored my departure from the whirlwind of social media. I always held the belief that forced content, thrown out there just to fill the void or to keep up with the rat race, wouldn't serve anyone.
Instead, I trusted that meaningful messages would flow when the time was right.
And that time, it seems, is now.
This newfound flow led me to write a book just a few months ago (link below), and now, it compels me to return to this space.
The topic on my mind lately, both in discussions with clients and in my own quiet contemplation, is authenticity.
Think back to when we were born. We were unfiltered, an unadulterated expression of ourselves. We cried when we were upset, giggled at nonsensical things, and explored the world with unbridled curiosity. But even before we could speak a word, the shaping began. Parents, teachers, and societal forces gently (or not so gently) nudged us towards conformity.
We, the good little boys and girls, listened and absorbed, determined to please. This desire manifested in a constant performance, carefully curated to fit the audience. The goofy kid toned it down at school, the shy one found a voice on the sports field, and the budding artist learned to blend in with the academically-focused crowd.
Different situations demanded different masks, those "Personas" as Carl Jung, the father of analytical psychology, called them.
However, with each new Persona, we chip away at our core selves.
The more masks we wear, the more fragmented we become, the further we stray from who we truly are. We are whole beings, and while we must be considerate of those around us, hiding our authentic selves does a disservice to ourselves and to them.
Imagine a world where everyone interacted with a carefully constructed version of themselves, a world devoid of genuine connection and vulnerability. It would be a sterile, lifeless place.
Over time, the masks we wear can become so ingrained that we lose sight of our true selves. This disconnection can lead to feelings of emptiness and dissatisfaction. We may achieve success by societal standards but find it hollow and unfulfilling.
Relationships, too, can suffer as they are built on facades rather than genuine connections.
This fear of inauthenticity stems from a deeper fear: the fear of being judged and rejected. We silence our quirky jokes, our artistic pursuits, and our heartfelt opinions, convinced that if we show our true selves, we'll be ostracized or ridiculed.This constant self-editing keeps us stuck in a safe but unfulfilling space. We limit our potential, living a pale imitation of who we could be.
I myself was guilty of it for a long time. I wanted the world to see the best versions of me and that version only. Don't take me wrong, I do strive to be my best self every day and encourage others to do that too. But here's the fundamental difference: your best self includes you being aware of your shortcomings, accepting them, and still trying to be your best each day.
Wearing a false mask of being great while denying to yourself and the world your not-so-great side is a different story altogether.
Reclaiming our authenticity involves a conscious effort to reconnect with our true selves. This can be a daunting task, as it requires introspection and a willingness to confront uncomfortable truths.
Practices such as mindfulness, journaling, and therapy can be instrumental in this journey. These tools help us to peel back the layers and uncover the person we truly are beneath the masks.
Living authentically also means being true to ourselves in every aspect of our lives. It means making choices that align with our values and beliefs, even when they are unpopular. It means pursuing passions and interests that bring us joy, regardless of societal expectations. And it means embracing vulnerability. When we show our true selves, we open ourselves up to the possibility of rejection and judgment. However, it is through this vulnerability that genuine connections are formed. When we present our authentic selves to the world, we invite others to do the same, fostering a deeper sense of understanding and empathy.
It means embracing and accepting ourselves fully, flaws and all.
The journey to authenticity is not easy, but the rewards are profound.
So you have to ask yourself:
Do I want to live this life hiding or do I want to embrace who I am and proudly showcase it to the world?
Do I want to live acting a part in a play that was written for me or do I want to be the scriptwriter, director and actor of my life?
Who are you?
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